Ask the Tarot: Cheaters Edition
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Raven Yamamoto: Hi, I'm Raven, assistant producer at Your Magic and welcome to Ask the Tarot. This is a recording of a live Greenroom show from Wednesday, September 1st, hosted by Michelle Tea. And if you enjoy it, you can come and listen to her do it again every week live on Greenroom Wednesdays at 5:00 p.m. Pacific, 8:00 p.m. Eastern. Follow Michelle Tea over on the Spotify Greenroom app and get notified whenever she goes live.
Also speaking of live shows, we are bringing back our live shows. Like in person, in real life. Our first show is Sunday, September 26 at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. It's a three o'clock matinee show with special guest Grace Lavery, Morgan Parker, Catpowerman 5K, Carey Bible and the iconic actress and tarot creator, Rachel True. Michelle will also be pulling cards for audience members throughout the show, so you won't want to miss it. Tickets are on sale now at dynastytypewriter.com and proof of vaccination will be required to enter. So be sure to bring your little card with you.
All right. Here's last week's Greenroom show.
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Michelle Tea: Hey, you guys, thanks for coming to Ask the Tarot, I'm Michelle Tea. Hi Lainey down there in the comments. I'm so psyched to pull cards for you guys and share some of the messages that I've been collecting all week — or a week and a half, really. There's two questions that came in the bunch that are about folks being cheated on. And you know two isn't that many, but I think they came in back to back and I just was like, what is this? It's Cheater's Edition of Ask the Tarot. We're going to try and help these people out. And before I get started, I just want to say thank you for trusting me with your problems. You know, it actually is — I'm a TMI person, as you'll come to learn, just listening to me. I'll spill my business everywhere. But, you know, it's quite vulnerable to share difficult things that are going on with you, with the public, even anonymously. So I just want to, like, give a shout out to the bravery of folks who actually step up and participate and make it possible for a show like this to happen. Thank you for your problems. OK, if you guys out there listening on Greenroom want to ask a question and have me pull a tarot card for you, raise your hand. I'm going to be going back and forth between questions that were DM'd to me on Instagram all week and then picking people who have their hands raised. So raise your hand. That's how we're going to do it.
And I'm just going to start with this question I got. Listen to this, you guys: "I'm currently working with a psychic to cleanse a negative spell. Since the beginning of the cleanse, I'm incurring so much emotional trauma and stress since this has begun. Should I continue? I've also done a chakra aura color cleanse?" Oh, I want to do that. "I should say the reason I began the psychic healing was because I found out my spouse was having an affair for half our relationship, so wanted a healing on that. And now I feel like I opened up something I shouldn't have. Should I stop?".
Oh gosh, what a question. It's like it's the question that begs so many more questions. Am I right? OK, so let me see. Working with a psychic to cleanse a spell. So it makes me want to ask, does the querent — that's a person who's asking a question of the tarot, the querent — does the querent believe have - have a reason to believe an actual spell has been put on them? Or do they feel like it's like a spell of time? You know what I mean? Like, this is a negative spell of time, what with having been cheated on by a spouse. So let me see. I think that and, you know, is this person asking me? No, they're asking the tarot. But I'm just going to say, it seems to me thinking about this, that the reason you would — it makes sense that you would have a lot of negative emotions come up when you actually commit to dealing with something. Right? And so this person has said, "I'm going to deal with the emotional trauma and stress of realizing that I've been betrayed. I'm going to deal with that by getting some emotional cleansing done by a psychic." We can only hope that the psychic is reputable. Am I right? I mean, we know there are tons of reputable psychics out there that are doing good work. And we also know that there's some, you know, some sham artists out there. So I hope you got a good one. Just for the record, if anyone is ever — if you ever go see a psychic and they're like, "Oh" — this is what happened to me, you guys — "the first boy you ever love put a spell on you and he's sleeping with a picture of you next to his bed sprinkled with powder. If you give me another ten dollars, you can borrow this like janky crystal and the spell will be removed." I was like, "no thanks." I have a B.S. detector as well as, you know, gaydar. So I didn't do that. So, you know, a reputable psychic won't ask you to do things like that.
So, OK, the question I'm going to pull on for accurate is what does it look like if you - if you continue with this psychic healing? Because honestly, it looks like there's no getting around the emotional trauma and stress of having been cheated on, like a psychic cleansing isn't just going to whisk those terrible feelings away. I mean, ideally, a good psychic, a good counselor of any kind of a therapist will help you move through it and deal with your trauma and stress because there's no getting out of that. So is this a good path for you to deal with your trauma and stress? That's what I'm asking the tarot right now. Three cards. And then I'm going to ask, is this maybe not the best path for dealing with the trauma and stress? My fear is that the trauma and stress is totally normal, natural, important and the psychic being a psychic, maybe not necessarily having a background in like therapy, counseling, that kind of stuff, might not know how to hold and help with the trauma and the stress, right? So do you want to go elsewhere? You know that's what I'm looking for like, what does it look like for you to go elsewhere for some help in dealing with the apocalypse of having been cheated on?
OK, let's see. So does the psychic look good? Does the psychic look good? All right. You know, the psychic doesn't look bad, you guys. For what does it look like to trust the psychic and continue: Art, that's the Temperance card, you know I read with the Crowley Thoth deck. He did a little spin on the Temperance card. It actually made it much more difficult to understand, frankly. But, you know, it is... I do like to think about the Temperance card when Art comes up. Art is about marriage, though. It's a marriage card. It's also an alchemy card about taking a situation or taking elements and creating something new. So what I'm seeing is that, you know, best case scenario of this card in this context is you're taking the raw, the rawness of your wounds and your feels and you're going to alchemize them into something else, wisdom, intelligence, strength, you know?
The next thing that comes up is the Peace card. It's the Two of Swords. It's Moon in Libra. I'm taking this as like, "yes, this — you don't have to stress out about this person being your psychic, being deceptive or anything like that. It looks like this is a path that can bring you ultimately to peace. You have The Hermit card, too. And so that's an interesting card to think of in this context. The Hermit is Virgo and Virgo is about like purity. I see that as like purity of intention. So I'm seeing that that's good. You know, also The Hermit card comes up — for me anyway — a lot around separations, breakups, divorces, stuff like that. I don't know if you're still with the spouse. You're not asking me if you should stay with them or not. So I'm not going to pull cards on it. But I'm wondering.
OK, what does it look like for you to go towards therapy or something like that? You know, these cards aren't bad either. I say all the help, right? Especially when you're going through a real trauma, get all the help. Do you want to look into other - other sources of support for yourself right now in addition to your psychic? You got the Knight of Cups, which is Cancer, healing. Cancer is just like the cosmic Zodiac mother sign. It's like very nurturing. You've got another Libra and, you know, with the Adjustment card, it's a riff on Justice. So both cards, both pulls have a Libra element, which is interesting because Libra is marriage and also harmony and balance, right? And you want to get your balance back. The Adjustment card coming up for like should you maybe seek therapy? To me, that's really positive. It's like there - this is a path for you to regain some more of your balance. And then you got the Knight of Swords and he's just like flying forward with three little birds next to him and that's really significant in this reading, because those three birds are supposed to represent support and we want you to get support.
OK, I hope that's helpful. It just looks like you didn't open up something that you should stop. Like what you've opened up is reality and reality is often traumatizing but we can't escape it, right? So, so much - so much strength and love to you as you deal with the trauma.
OK, all right. I'm going to go into the audience now and see who is around. I'm going to... oh let's see. Mer, can you jump up and say hello?
Querent: Hello.
Michelle Tea: Hi.
Querent: Oh my gosh, I'm so glad to be speaking with you.
Michelle Tea: Thank you, can I help you? Do you have a question?
Querent: Yeah, I actually have two questions.
Michelle Tea: OK.
Querent: I'm in a really big argument with my boyfriend and I just want to know, is he the one to me? We've been together for five years, but this whole other part of my body is telling me to go move to Colorado, leave Texas and just start my life over. And I just wanted to know, what does it look like for me to do that?
Michelle Tea: OK, all right. So first we're going to say, what does it look like for you to peace out, go to Colorado, you're feeling drawn to Colorado. Get out of Texas with their stupid anti-abortion laws and head for - head for something else. Head for a new life. You've been with this person for five years. Can I ask you how old you are right now?
Querent: I'm about to be twenty.
Michelle Tea: OK. Yeah. All right.
Querent: A little young.
Michelle Tea: Right, a little young. It's true. It's true. Oh, my gosh. If I was still the person I was with when I was 15 years old. Oh, my goodness. I can't even imagine. OK, so I'm picking three cards for you, splitting. And then I'm going to pick three cards, what does it look like to stay OK? Because you - you have invested five years hoping that the fight you're having isn't too terribly egregious or serious. Like what does it look like to stick it out in Texas with this person that you've committed to? What does that look like? Is that OK? Do you want to compare and contrast or do you not even want to see that?
Querent: No, no. Yeah, I want to compare it.
Michelle Tea: You want to compare. OK, cool. Because if you're like, "don't even show me that" I would be like, "that is fine." That's your choice. OK, so what does it look like to stick around in Texas. All right. All right. So going to Colorado looks good. And guess what? Not going to Colorado looks bad. So let me tell you what I got here for you.
For leaving, you got the Queen of Swords, the Queen of Wands, and the Ace of Disks. These are all really great cards, especially for a question like yours, which is like, do I leave this relationship that you started during formative years? Do you go out on your own? You got these two strong queens, right? You got the Queen of Swords and she's like over it. The Queen of Swords is amazing. She's - she is shown up on a throne of clouds, right? So she's looking down on the earth. She has the big picture. She's seeing the big picture of things. And she's saying, no. She's got a sword in one hand. She's got a dude's head in her other hand. And she's just like basically cutting people's heads off. Or she's — there's another read on her that she's taking away masks. So either way, she's editing, right? She's either getting rid of people, places and things that don't work for her anymore or and/or she's getting rid of masks. She's getting rid of people, places and things that make it hard for her to be her authentic self, whoever she is right now, whoever she is today. So that's great.
Next, you have Queen of Wands. She is so strong. She's just got all this fire energy, all this passion she can deal with a lot. She's super resilient. She's already been through a lot. And she's kind of proud that. She likes to kind of show her battle scars a little bit to inspire other people to take a chance and to be proud of what they've been through. So she's really strong. She's great for, like, doing something difficult, like getting out of a relationship. And then the Ace of Disks is — I mean, aces for new beginnings are really fantastic. It's like, yes, you can start a new cycle for yourself in a very material, hands-on way. I mean, disks represents our homes, the places we live. So it's really good for like a relocation question.
Now, if you stay, oh, God, it just doesn't look very good. You got the OK. The first card is the Three of Disks, which is called Work. OK, relationships take work. That's not terrible, right? And we already know that it's going to take a little bit of work for you to stick around. But I would want to see some really great cards on the other side of that. Like that work is going to pay off for you. But what you have is the Debauch card, which I don't know your situation, but if there's any sort of like addictive vibes or tendencies, if anyone is drinking too much or doing anything too much. If there's codependency vibes going on, these are just going to exacerbate. They're not going to go away. You know, if that's not true, if there isn't those vibes, what this Seven of Cups card can mean is just too much emotion, too much bad emotion running in place. Like whatever your issues are, it doesn't look like there's a clear path to getting through them.
Your final card is The Moon. So I just see whatever has brought you into this state where you're like, we're fighting, I want to leave. I don't see that going away. I see you staying in that and stewing in that like, ugh feeling.
So it looks like there's a really cool path for you to get out of it and to feel really good about it. Whereas staying in it really just feels like staying in it. It feels like staying in a boggy swamp. Does that make sense?
Querent: You know, yeah, that does make sense. He's not really addicted to like anything that you would say is rather addicting. But his coping skill for everything is just to play video games and he's constantly — and he's older than me, so he just constantly plays video games all the time. And that's what this fight is about.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, you know, it's — people grow apart, you know? Or one person grows and the other doesn't or they grow in different directions. It's like really makes a lot of sense to want to see what else is out there in the world and it looks like a really great move for you. So - so we all wish you so much luck. And I see people are chatting about it in the chat. So if you want to jump in and like, share some more and get some feedback from the folks in the audience, I think we got a lot of like wise people here and people who also pick cards on their own. So maybe you can get some more info, you know, some more support. Good luck to you. We're rooting for you.
Oh, my God. OK, let's see. We got some relationship problems going on right now, don't we? OK, here, here is another cheater question. You guys, I got cheated on once and it's just the worst. You really just feel like all of a sudden you're living in like an episode of Black Mirror, you know what I mean? Like that TV show. You're like, wait, everything I thought was one way is another way. Now I feel crazy. It's so awful. So my heart goes out to everybody who's dealing with those kind of stresses.
OK: "My husband had an affair with a coworker." Oh, so basic. So typical, right? "With a coworker that began the fall of 2019. We've been working on repairing our marriage and I've been working towards healing from that as well as other past traumas. I'm trying really hard to improve myself, my health, and my self-image. My mother-in-law absolutely hates me." Oh, no. "And has even befriended the woman that my husband cheated on me with." What?! "And everyone on that side of the family hates me. To make matters worse, my best friend tried to convince me that we should be fuck buddies." What?! Shout out for using asterisks in that word. I didn't use the asterisks but very classy. Oh God, this is so terrible. "All of this drama and lack of support has really negative - has really negatively affected my success on my journey to be the best me." Yeah. "Am I on the right path to have the success I desire? Will the relationships in my life ever improve? I feel so lost.".
Oh jeez. OK. Oh again. You know, I want - I want to ask so many questions here, you know? OK, so am I on the right path? The path that sounds like this person is on is towards repairing the marriage. I do not like that the mother is talking to the mistress, the mother in law talking to the mistress. Does that mean that the husband is still talking to the mistress? Well I'll tell you this. When I — I know no one wants my advice. You want the tarot's advice, but and you definitely don't want my bad therapist's advice. I had it there. I don't know if she was bad, but I had it there. I went to therapy after I got cheated on and the therapist was like, your partner cannot be talking to that girl. And, you know, I guess your husband has made a pretty lousy situation by getting it on with a coworker. Let me see. What does this look like? OK, I am just hoping that, you know, your husband is really trying to do right by you and talking to the family... I don't know if that's what's happening. I don't know if he's sticking up for you. It sounds like you really need to be advocated for with your in-laws. So what does it look like? We don't know the answers to those questions, but we just know that you are sticking it out. Does - what does it look like for you to stick it out in this marriage with this person to try to improve it and repair it? OK, I'm picking three cards. Audience, can you even believe me — believe this? What you're hearing from me? It's so, so sad. OK, I'm pulling these cards.
Now, you know, conversely, what does it look like to say bye-bye? Like you should have thought of that. I don't trust you. I need to be alone, at least for a period of time, so I can heal from this on my own as well as other past traumas. Like you don't need those to be triggered. I need to be away from this family. I'm going to just go away. Forever? For a moment? Who knows? But what does it look like for you to draw a big ass boundary and say, I don't want to repair this anymore? I mean, have you been repairing it since 2019? That's another question I have. OK, all right.
So what does it look like to stick in this marriage? Oh, no. What does it look like to get away from this marriage? Woo-hoo, OK. I like when the tarot is very clear and the tarot is sending a very strong message of what it looks like to stay and what it looks like to go. To stay in this marriage and to work towards improving, the very first card you have is The Devil. All right? It's a bad sign in a situation like this. The Devil is a complicated card. Sometimes it's fun and games. But honestly, the more I think, the more I read cards, the more I'm like, I want the devil to be fun and games. But really, he's really just not. He's really about situations that have control of us when we don't have control of ourselves and I'm worrying that this relationship has control of you, you know? That you're staying in something that is not good for you because of fear, because of a sense of obligation, codependency, who knows what? But when The Devil, The Devil traditionally is shown in the tarot as sitting in a throne and there's two humans chained to the throne. So you're chained to the throne. And what is sitting in that throne? Is it your marriage? Is it you're - the family, that side of the family, it's - it's not good, OK? It's taking away your power. When The Devil comes up, we're - we're often disempowered. We're often disempowering ourselves. But that doesn't mean that there's an easy way out of it. You know, it's often quite hard to figure that out.
OK, your next card here: Indolence. This is a neglect card. It's the Eight of Cups and it's Saturn in Pisces. Pisces is so open-hearted, right? Pisces is so romantic. Pisces is like, yes, let's do the - the sweet, nice thing and make everything lovely. And Saturn, the planet of consequences and limitations is saying, sorry. This isn't work that you can do on your own all by yourself. With the Indolence card's suggesting something is being neglected. I'm guessing what's being neglected is you like I don't know. I'm not getting a vibe that your husband is putting in the hundred and fifty percent. Like are you doing all the emotional labor? You know, is your husband making excuses for the family being shitty to you? Like what's going on with this? This Indolence, this is — like an image I'm looking at right now of these chipped cups and dirty water and sad sick flowers. This is like your emotional landscape, you know? If you stay in this relationship, it's about being neglected, not being valued, not being respected. Oh, I hate it. I just don't like it. I don't like it.
Your final card here, Adjustment. What are you adjusting to, like, what are you having to accept? You know, the Adjustment card, it does - it does force us to make compromises, you know? That's not always bad. It's often really good. But in this situation? What — I think the compromises you're being asked to make are too great.
OK, now what if you take yourself away and find a different path to the success that you desire? That's outside of this marriage and all of its baggage? You got some nice cards here, OK? So most significantly, your centerpiece card for this, it's so interesting. It's The Lovers, right? So we know this is like the tarot's like, yes, responding to this question. When The Lovers card comes up, it's because it's like it's basically asking the question: are you going to stay or are you going to go? Are you going to double down or are you going to peace out or are you going to commit or are you going to back away? So you're at this place right now where that's what is being asked of you and it's like you need to really look at that. You need to look at the reality that getting out of this relationship is an option for you. I hope that you know that it's an option for you. It is. Even if you choose to stay in, I hope that you're really choosing with your free will and not just kind of bottoming out to fear or habit or something like that.
It looks good for you to move along, even if it's just for a little bit. You have the Ace of Disks. It's called Prudence. It's Sun in Virgo. I find that Virgo cards come up a lot during breakups because Virgo, it's The Hermit. It's — suddenly, you're very solitary. Suddenly you are away from the influence of that other person and of the relationship and it coming up in the Prudence — in the form of the Prudence card as opposed to the hermit — I think is very supportive. It's a beautiful card. It's like a tree with these beautiful fuchsia flowers blooming and leaves covering them, protecting them. So it's — what it's saying is that these leaves are beautiful and valuable and they deserve to be protected. And I'm going to get together a structure and a system to protect these beautiful flowers. You're the beautiful flower, OK? What are you going to do to protect yourself? What are you going to do to protect your serenity, your - your self-esteem, your peace of mind, your happiness, moving away from this relationship even for a moment. It's going to help you feel like you're worth protecting. OK?
And then this is what I'm most excited about. Your final card here is The Magician. The Magician is so powerful. It's like, take your power. Where's your power? You have the power to manifest something better for yourself. The Magician is all about manifesting. It's about creating. It's about casting a spell on yourself for a better life, for something, for something more. This to me looks really clear. Like stay in the relationship and be chained to something that does not prioritize or respect you, that you're constantly having to figure out how to be OK with or make a crazy-ass big choice to be self-protective, get out of this relationship and lead a bigger and more beautiful life.
OK, I did I just tell you to leave your marriage. I'm just telling people to leave their marriages here, you know? But I don't know. I stand by it. It feels - it feels correct. It feels really correct and my gut as well as being reflected in the tarot. Good luck to you. It's horrible to feel lost. We've all been there in various ways and we're all rooting for you.
OK, I'm going to jump on to the audience, to the audience right now, who's got their hands up? Oh, Xana Kazar. Xana Kazar, you are on. Are you there? I know that sometimes I call people up and they have a glitchy thing happening with their app, but I can't wait for too long.
Querent: Hey, sorry. Can you hear me?
Michelle Tea: I can hear you. I can hear you.
Querent: Great, sorry.
Michelle Tea: Sounds like you're at the food court at the mall or something.
Querent: Yeah. I'm so sorry.
Michelle Tea: No, it's OK. How can, how can I be of service?
Querent: OK, so I'll make this quick, hopefully. I got a job offer that I've been waiting for today.
Michelle Tea: Yes.
Querent: Yes. Very good offer, very good company. I'm excited about the job. I just want to be smart because this is hopefully my last move and my career and I don't want to leave any money on the table in terms of my [unintelligible]. So I wanted to ask if I should ask for more. I also don't want to put people off. They've been really great and it really is a good offer. But again, this is my life.
Michelle Tea: Yes, it is your life. OK, I'm shuffling right now asking, what does it look like for you to ask for more money? And I want to say here that, you know, classically, I think this has been proven without a doubt by, you know, whoever studies this kind of stuff, you know, journalists and social scientists and whatnot, female people, women, women-identifying people like we do not — we're afraid to negotiate. We're afraid to ask for more money.
Querent: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: It's something that dudes do all the time. I'm going to now ask also, conversely, compare and contrast. What does it look like if you accept the offer that they've already made and you don't push further? So I am going to ask for that. But it's really important, I think, for people especially like if you're marginalized at all, people of color, queer people, you know, people who like present in like a gender nonbinary way. It's like it's important to have that sort of sense of empowerment that, you know what you're worth and you're not afraid to ask for it. You know, if there was one takeaway I got from the Trump presidency is that anyone can do — if that guy could be president like any of us can it, right.
Querent: Literally.
Michelle Tea: We all can get more money, more power. OK, but let's see what the tarot says now that I've given you my opinion. OK, so it looks good to ask for more. And what does it look like? Yeah, it looks better to ask for more money than it does to not, OK?
The first card that came up for you is this great Four of Disks. It's called Power. We want to disk card a question like this because disk rules money and you just got like a money card. You know, it's about power. It's about like having — four is a number of foundation. So it's like you're coming from a strong foundation, you know? You're asking for more money because you've already built yourself up and you know what you're worth. And it makes sense. It's Sun in Capricorn. Capricorn always asks for more money. That's the whole raison d'être. Did I say that right? Probably not. But it's their a reason for living, climbing that mountain, getting more. So you've got this Capricorn spirit.
Then next, what you have is the Eight of Wands. It's called Swiftness. It's Mercury in Sagittarius. That is so great. Mercury in Sagittarius. Mercury is about communicating, asking. Sag goes for it. They're going to go for it. They're like, why not? They're optimistic. They're ruled by Jupiter, which brings gifts such as big piles of cash. So I like this. It looks like the way for you to ask will probably be — it'll be an easy ask. Maybe a little easier than you think. Oh, I'm sorry if you guys hear that. I do live in an urban area and there's an ambulance going by.
OK, and then your final card here is Adjustment, which came up a little earlier but has a little different meaning in this context. You know, you might not get everything that you asked for with the Adjustment card coming at the end, but you will be respected for asking. It won't be a problem that you asked and you'll be happy that you know that you entered — that you negotiated, you know? Like you - you had that back and forth.
Not asking for money. Here's what you get. You get The Star card, which is a great card, right? And then you get — and I feel like that is you being like, well, whatever. This is already so wonderful. It's already a dream come true because The Star's about dreams come true. Then you get the Truce card. The Truce card is interesting in this - in this context. It's the Four Swords and it's not bad. It's a truce. But that means that there's been a battle, right? And so what's the battle like? The battle's internal, right? You're — you're having an internal battle. Should I ask him or should I not? OK, I've made a compromise with myself to not ask for more money. And then the last card is Oppression. Ten of Wands. You're going to regret not asking for more. It's not going to sit well with you because you just want to be the person who was not afraid to do that, you know, who's not afraid to enter into negotiation, which again, is a really normal thing that people enter into all the time in in business.
So I say go for it and the tarot says, go for it.
Querent: Yay, awesome!
Michelle Tea: Yeah, good luck to you.
Querent: Thank you.
Michelle Tea: And good luck on getting your dream job and getting all the money.
Querent: Thank you.
Michelle Tea: You're so welcome. Have a great night. Oh, yeah, we all — it's really true. You always want to ask for more, right? We wanna take that chance. It's really scary to do that. I think it's very scary. But. But it's good. It's important.
All right. I got something that came in on the wire. Here we go: "I've been in New York City since 2006. I left twice and came back because it didn't work out in the other cities. This year I'm gone out to L.A. twice and I keep feeling the pull of L.A. and my friends there. But is this the right choice to relocate it at 42? I'm worried my Sagittarius energy is working for and against me here? That's really funny. Yes, Sag's do like to run around. Sag's love a beginning landing in a new town.
OK, let's see what this looks like. What does it look like if this person goes to L.A., I mean, I live in L.A., so I can tell you, it's pretty fun. I really like it. There's always cool stuff to do. For instance, today I went for a coffee in a new cafe that is designed to look like the inside of a comic book. Everything's like black and white. It's like really weird. It's like you're in Dick Tracy or something. So, OK, do you want to come here and be with your LA friends? What does that look like? Boop boop, boop. Now, three cards for staying in New York City. You know, maybe you want to satisfy that — maybe you're just going to always be a little like plagued by wanderlust. I mean, that's a real classic Sagittarian problem. So maybe you want to commit to New York City, commit to the best city on the planet and just travel around a lot and just get your jollies that way, you know, what does that look like? Because that could be that Sag thing, right, where you're like any place is going to get a little boring because you Sag's, you need constant excitement, don't you? OK, three cards for that.
OK, so staying in — oh, moving to L.A., moving to L.A., there's those friends. That looks fun. OK, staying in New York. Oh, jeez. They're like identical readings. I hate when the tarot does this. Both of your readings. This is so wild. Oh my God. But clearly, it means you're supposed to be bi-coastal. Oh, my God. This is so wild. All right. Both readings have a cup court card. Both readings have a disk court card, and both readings have a positive wands card with a sagittal - Sagittarius. Oh, my God. This is so — you guys. Moments like this, I'm like, tarot is real. So freaky.
So, move to L.A.: Knight of Cups. So fun. There's love there. Your friends are there. You can offer your heart to L.A. because it's new and it hasn't let you down. Prince of Disks, there's also work there for you. And it's also saying that — maybe also like this is maybe going to be a little ho-hum after a while, the way everything is, right? And then Swiftness. Mercury in Sagittarius. There's a lot of energy, just like a lot of electrical energy really just happening in L.A. that - that you can really latch onto and love.
Staying in New York: Princess of Cups. Opening your heart to New York, loving it. Knight of Disks. There's also you've - you've already kind of put some work in there. Your - your - your horse has all four feet on the ground. Things are happening for you there. And then Nine of Wands, which is Moon in Sagittarius, Strength. There's also a lot there to keep you occupied. I mean, if you - if you're to bored for New York City, if New York City bores you, then yes. That's a Saggitarius problem, being bored by New York City.
Listen, I - I'm going to stand by this. You've got an identical reading for both places. I don't think that the tarot was trying to confound you. I think it's trying to tell you: try to be bicoastal. I know it's the dream, right? It's the dream. Is the rent the same, right? I don't - I don't know. I keep hearing all this stuff about rent's going down because of the pandemic. I don't know if it's true. My rent literally just got raised like a half hour before I came on the show. So my rent went up, but hopefully, yours will go down.
All right. Let's jump on and see who's got their hands up here. Wendy Metcalf, are you around? Wendy Metcalf? OK, Wendy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you're trying.
Querent: I'm here. I'm here.
Michelle Tea: Oh, you're here.
Querent: Sorry.
Michelle Tea: OK, how can I help you?
Querent: I want to know — my job is being kind of ho-hummy right now with it. I have a lot of things going on and so I just don't know if I should push it or if I need to deal with all my other shenanigans.
Michelle Tea: Shenanigans. OK, so you want to know, should you stay in your job or should you go?
Querent: Yes.
Michelle Tea: OK, so what does it look like for you to stay since you're already there?
Querent: And. Yes, OK, go ahead.
Michelle Tea: Wait, you got more info for me? You can share.
Querent: Well, yeah. So I'm in the cannabis industry, which is kind of a new thriving industry and it's hindering as well. So my career before that was completely professional and so it's harder to go back to the real world we'll say, because you're stereotyped as like a cannabis user or whatever, it's still federally illegal. So if I make the jump, I'm going to have to really take myself out and put myself back into another industry, per se. It's not just a matter of changing jobs.
Michelle Tea: I see.
Querent: Like should I go regular, like mainstream or continue down this cannabis path.
Michelle Tea: OK, thank you for clarifying. That really makes a difference. So right now, I shuffled - I picked three cards for you staying the cannabis industry and now I'm picking, I'm shuffling, picking as you're explaining what it's really going to take for you to - to switch industries. It's like not — you're coming out of a stigmatized industry. So it's not... yeah, let's see. I mean, hopefully that stigma is fading. But I get what you're saying. I think it's you know, it's in different places. It's - it's faded more in some places and less in others.
All right. So for you to stay in the cannabis industry, OK, that looks rough. And for you to get out of it, jeez, this looks hard. This looks like you are really caught a little bit here. To stay in the industry, OK, you got the Four of Disks. This came up earlier. It's Sun in Capricorn. It's Power. It's great. It's saying, like, you've really — you've worked in this industry. You've accomplished a lot. You've built a foundation here.
And at the same time, the next card is the Princess of Swords and she just wants to destroy it. She wants to get out of it. She wants - she wants to make a massive change that's a little bit destructive. You know, she's - she is illustrated as going into a temple that is corrupted, destroying the temple. And it's like, OK, there's probably other ways to deal with the temple, but her way is to just destroy it. So I think that's just showing like what — I don't know how - how specifically that resonates with you, but it's definitely speaking to your lack of satisfaction, right? Being there.
And then the final card is Sorrow. It's the Three of Swords. It's Saturn and Libra. And it's just sort of like Libra wants to make it work. Libra wants to give it their all and Saturn is just like, sorry, your dreams and your longing isn't enough to actually make something work. Like this isn't working. So that looks hard.
But then what you're saying, this is... I want to pick another round for you because I want a better resolution. What this first three cards about getting out is doing is absolutely affirming your fear around leaving — kind of going into the straight mainstream world. You're first - but I'm afraid actually — I'm getting more information as I'm looking at these cards — a lot of it might be your fear. Not that your fear isn't well-founded, but if there's like four places that don't want to hire you because of your background in cannabis, there's that fifth place that thinks you're rad, you know? And that is what you need to go towards. But getting around those four places and kind of being resilient and making sure that you don't write a narrative, that is what's going to be challenging.
Your first card is the Prince of Cups, and he's just stressed out like he's - he's on a bird that's really powerful and magical and it's a bird that can go very high in the sky or it could go underwater. Then, he's just like skimming the surface of the water. He's not making a move. And it's - he's like looking into this cup and he's just like - he's obsessing. He's a little self-obsessed, he's a little like doom and gloom. And so, you know, you do have some negative expectations. Again, I'm not saying that you're not correct to have — you know the world that you occupy.
But your next card is the Five of Swords. It's Defeat. Defeat is really interesting. I find that when the Defeat card comes up, there's usually something real that triggers it, OK? It's like there has been a letdown, a disappointment but the real problem with the Defeat card is how that experience then lives on in your brain, because swords are our mental spheres, right? It's how we think. It's the stories we tell ourselves. And with the Defeat card, it's like that experience that was a little heartbreaking. It's a Venus card. That's our hearts. It lives on. And that's where the damage occurs, right? Yeah. So it looks like, yes, you get out and you confront these problems that you kind of know are coming.
But here's your final card and I see this is a real ray of light. Your final card in this is the Princess of Disks. And first of all, disks, rule work. They rule money. So that's good. And she's this beautiful woman who has just come through this tangle of what — she's got this forest behind her. It does not look like an easy terrain to have moved through, but she did it and now she's pregnant, OK? And it's just about having had - having been forced by circumstance or whatever to - to go through this hard path. You know, your path has been hard, but you've made it through and now you're about to give birth to this whole new era of your own life, OK?
So it just looks like... It looks like your concerns about the industry and wanting to get out of it in spite of how it looks like you are accomplished and you've really invested, it doesn't look good for you to stay in that industry. But what you've learned — that Four of Disks that you built. You will be able to take that with you, that is in the Princess of Disks, you know, she does embody that energy and it's just like you're going to have to get your support system together to - to whether that - that initial going out into the world and seeing how close-minded and dumb people are, you know?
Querent: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: And not — yeah — and not letting them colonize your brain, you know?
Querent: Well, thank you so much.
Michelle Tea: You are so welcome.
Querent: I have to say, even though it's a little confusing, like or just the cards were weird. It totally resonates with me and applies completely because all the other shenanigans — that's what the cards are talking about. Like I need to get - I need to go ahead and just deal with it and make the move.
Michelle Tea: Good.
Querent: So thank you so much.
Michelle Tea: I'm so glad that it makes sense. As long as it makes sense to you.
Querent: It does.
Michelle Tea: That is more important than it making sense to me. Thank you. OK, cool. Let me see. What do we got here? OK, here's another romantic problem, you guys. Ready for this drama? OK, I am... Oh wait. No that's not it. OK: "Are children in the cards for me? I think I might be pregnant now." Well, there you go. "But it's too early to tell." OK, ok. "I have always wanted kids and I know I would be upset if I didn't have them. But at the same time, I'm just concerned about this world." You guys, we've heard that here before, right? It's real. "We are not in a good place and I don't think we ever will be. I'm just scared I won't be a good mom. And if I'm pregnant, is now the right time? I'm conflicted. Please, I hope you can give me some clarity.".
Well, jeez, I hope I can, too. This is a lot of feelings and this is real serious stuff here. OK, will you be a good mom? Yeah. Do you want to be a good mom? Then you'll be a frickin good mom. There's tons of resources out there for people. I'm not going to pick cards on that. You know, like, you got to just believe in yourself. You got to know you're going to mess up and know that, like, as long as you love that kid and, like, do your best to, like, listen to them, help them find who they are in the world, then you're going to be OK. You know, we're not in a good place on Earth and I don't think we ever will be. I can't say I'm going to argue with you. I mean, if you look at the history of the planet, we are a warring species, right? OK, so what does that mean to bring a kid into this? In spite of that? I feel you. I have existential crises about this all the time as a mom. But I'm going to pick for you what does it look like for you to commit to having children? OK? It feels like it's something that you have to commit to. It's not so much like, are children in the cards for me. Like, is this just going to happen? I mean, it seems like maybe it will — god, straight people, am I right? You just - you just might be pregnant. But what if you commit to that, you know, and you're like, listen, in this imperfect world, I, the imperfect mother will raise you, the imperfect child. Like, is there a beauty in that that you can access? Let's see. And conversely, is now not the right time? All right. Let's see. Let's see what that means. Is now not the right time for you, because timing is very real. And this is something that maybe you can go back and ask later, you know? Again, I'm not giving you a like, no, you're never going to have kids. Like, I'm just not going to give you that answer right now. I'm going to give you a no, you're not going to have kids right now. If that, in fact, is what this reading comes out in saying.
All right, let's see or see what we got here. Committing to the baby... OK. And let me see committing to no baby... OK. Oh, jeez. Well, listen, it does look like it's not the best time for you to have a baby, OK? It really does and whether or not you're pregnant already, that's for you to figure out and I sure hope that you can and that you have resources for - for having the baby. You have the Princess of Disks, who is pregnant. She is a pregant card, OK? Then you have the Queen of Swords and you have The Tower, OK? That's why I don't like it. I don't like it because it's The Tower and you know, is it kind of normal to get The Tower for having a baby? In a way, right? I mean The Tower means that — what this means that - is that for you to have a baby, it means that your entire world, as it operates right now, as it is structured right now, is going to have to come down. Come down and a whole new life is going to have to be built. I mean, and to some extent, that's true for everyone. But I think it's extra true for you and I don't know the specifics of your situation. The Queen of Swords, same thing. You know, she came up earlier. She is editing. She's firing people. She's saying, no, you're gone. You're out, you're out, you're out. You're going to have to take a lot - remove a lot of people, places, and things from your life in order to have this baby right now. OK?
Now, I really wanted to see what it would look like for you to not have a baby right now. And - and then I would know, well, maybe The Tower's OK, you know? Maybe that's just how it goes. But your cards for not having a baby right now are really good, OK? The Fool, the Princess of Wands, and Swiftness, OK? The Fool is so interesting. It's like The Fool is about kind of doing something new and taking a wild risk, right? And it doesn't seem like not having a baby is a wild risk. Like you are already not having a baby, but it's saying that there's some sort of action that you would do to not have the baby, that you would just have to take a chance around, and I'm also seeing it as possibly being that you have - you have more to do in your life as a - as a nonparent right now, OK? Like there's stuff that you need to do. There's more of the world you need to experience, there's maybe projects you need to get off the ground. I don't know. The Fool takes wild chances and has a wild life. So what does that mean for you? What is your wild life that you can do? OK? Instead of having a baby right now.
Next with the Princess of Wands. She's not having a baby. She's like naked and she's going to — she's like wearing a tiger tail wrapped around her neck and she's flying up into the ether. She's got big, beautiful antenna. She's just kind of looking out for number one. She's healing. She's enjoying her body. She's enjoying her freedom. She's facing her fears. I mean, yeah, there's no kids in this picture.
And then the Eight of Wands, Swiftness. A beautiful card. Mercury in Sagittarius. Again, with the Sagittarius resonating with The Fool card, about it being about taking chances, taking risks, traveling, doing some wild things. I think the tarot is saying, don't have a kid right now. You just don't do it, OK? Do go out and have a great, big, fat, juicy, delicious life, do some wild stuff, take some chances and then when you've sown your wild oats, come back to ask the tarot and we will pull again for you and see, you know, what's going on. Now, I know I'm giving you all this advice and you said clearly that, you know, you might be pregnant. So that's - that's a lot of other questions for you and I wish you so much luck and strength and wisdom and support. Okay? And I know that we all do.
All right. Who is in the audience that can jump up here? Diana Granbury, Diana Granbury. Are you around? Can I?
Querent: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: Hi.
Querent: Hi. So nice to talk to you.
Michelle Tea: It's nice to talk to you also. How can I help you?
Querent: So I just got out of a fairly long relationship and I guess I'm feeling a little like drunk on the power of making choices that have nothing to do with anyone else.
Michelle Tea: OK.
Querent: So, I'm kind of thinking about making a pretty big move. I don't know where. I just know that I'm feeling like I just want to get out.
Michelle Tea: OK.
Querent: My issue with that is just... I am set up in a place where, like, I've been working really hard and I kind of wanted to get here and now that I'm here, I'm like, do I really want to blow it all up and jump somewhere else and try to start over?
Michelle Tea: OK, classic question. Should I stay or should I go? Yeah?
Querent: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: OK, so what does it look like if you do blow it all up? What does it look like if you do say, OK, I have achieved a whole bunch and I appreciate that, I'm grateful, but I need more challenges. I need - I need to keep moving. I need to go forward. I need to get out of here. What does that look like for you? Picking three cards for that and what does that look like for you to be like, hey, catch your breath, you know, like you worked really hard to be here. Don't be so fast to jump ship. Like, what can you do to sort of conjure some serenity, conjure some contentment? What can you do to make that happen? What does it look like if you in fact stay for now?
OK, jumping ship, what do we get for jumping ship? It looks good to jump ship. It does. Staying and sticking around does not really look good. So for you to leave, it actually looks beautiful, especially in comparison with staying. Your first card is the Queen of Disks and it's like, I love this queen. She's got it all. She's sitting on a big pineapple. She's like looking out onto the fertile landscape that she — it's her landscape, right? She's got this globe that represents like the universe in her arms. She has big horns that represent her intuition and her power. She's got a goat, which represents Capricorn. Can I ask you what sign you are?
Querent: Aquarius.
Michelle Tea: Oh, cool! Me too. Capricorns? Did you say you have a Capricorn moon?
Querent: No, I was saying I was like right on the cusp on January 21st. So I'm like, right in that little niche.
Michelle Tea: Got it. Yes. So you have that Capricorn energy, so you've got that desire. It doesn't matter if you like, worked really hard and got where you are, like you've got that - that pushing you that you - to keep ascending and to be wanting more. You know, the next card in line for you is The Empress. And I mean, it's like a queen and then the uber queen right next to it and it's like, first of all, it being a major arcana is just very powerful. It's a positive major arcana and it's just a big yes, you know? Like that's what I read her as. But she's also about like love and beauty and like, you know, she definitely wants to be the best - her best self. She wants you to be your best self and have your best and biggest life. So - so The Empress is a wonderful card, and then next to that is The Hierophant and this is Taurus. This is grounded. He rules work. The Hierophant is about having knowledge and it's about having institutional knowledge. He's like this old white guy, so it's like very like traditional patriarchal knowledge. But there's also like a child in his chest. So it's also talking about having like that kind of like child knowledge, like first thought, best thought, like being able to keep wonder and awe alive in your life. And then there's this beautiful, like goddess priestess at the bottom and so it's also about the wisdom of your intuition.
So to me, it feels like it really makes sense for you to leave it. I mean, it might seem like you made a case for it not making sense for you to leave. But I think in your gut, it just maybe feels right to leave. Now, staying doesn't look good. You got the Prince of Cups. I don't like this prince. He's - he's - he's - he's ambivalent and like, in a bad way. He's like, gloomy ambivalent, you know? He's just like, I don't know, he's like not making a move and he should be making a move. So that's saying a lot.
Then you get The Devil, you know, and again, that's feeling like change to a situation that isn't necessarily healthy for you or in your ultimate best interest, but feeling like you got to for whatever reason.
And then, you know, on the other side of that is the Six of Disks. That is a good card. It is Success. It's a Taurus card just like the Hierophant. But I don't like Success at the end of the Prince of Cups and The Devil. It's like, what priced success? It's like, yeah, you'll have all the material things and it'll look good. But you need more than that. You need a deeper challenge, a more fulfilling challenge. And so, yeah, it's saying that you should go. Does that make sense?
Querent: That makes a lot of sense. I, I think I've definitely been feeling more like I should definitely do it and then trying to talk myself out of it.
Michelle Tea: Yeah. Yeah. Well I can see how it looks like what a daring thing to do to be like, OK, thanks for giving me like this great life, but goodbye, you know? But - but no, like that's not how the world's working. It's like thank you for giving this and now onto my next thing, you know? And so that's what the Empress wants for you. It's like the great goddess that is filled with fertility and abundance and wants you to have more. So.
Querent: OK, thank you.
Michelle Tea: You're so welcome. Take care. OK, let me see. Here is - here is another relationship problem that we are going to help solve. OK, this person writes: "I'm 21, working, and in school. I have been with this man, Mario, for five years. It's been kind of off and on. He's great. Yeah. We've had our issues but we are working through them and things have made a dramatic change. We are seeing each other but are not official at the moment because we both have super busy schedules right now. I'm around him and I can just feel so much love like it literally radiates. But my question is, is he my soulmate, my end game? I'm at a point in my life where I'm starting to make really important decisions and I need to know if I need to include him. I have tried drawing cards and I'm so new to it and still learning, so I just get confused.".
All right. So we're going to - we're going to address this. It can be really hard when the stakes feel high for you to pull your own cards. I mean, I find it very challenging. I've been reading for so long and it just, you know, it's just - it's really helpful to have somebody else. So. All right. This guy feels good. It sounds like it feels good, been off and on, you've had issues, but you're working them through. What does it look like if you start including him? You know? What if it looks like - what does it look like if you commit to this dude? OK, let's see. I'm going to pick three cards. Like, I like to get that little story for you and see what it looks like. If you say, OK, I think I think this guy might be, you know, a soul mate, somebody that's worth committing to and moving towards. All right. So I've just picked three cards. Conversely... OK, what if that's not? It's been off and on, right? And you know what if the issues persist, OK? You know, you are seeing each other, but you're very busy. Like, what if you know, you just — it doesn't sound like you've had time to really be closer. So what if that actually making that move towards increased intimacy isn't very good? What if you're like, you know something? I'm not going to invest any further. I'm just picking these cards because you asked.
OK, so let's see. Moving towards Mario. Wow. OK. Moving away from Mario. Wow. Oh, my goodness. This is... this looks pretty intense. I kind of want — I wish I was just reading this person's cards like in my office face to face so I could ask lots of questions. Maybe these cards will make sense to you and resonate more with you with everything you know. But it looks like to stay with Mario. OK, you have The Death card. It's the very first card that comes up, OK? So it looks like in order to really commit to him — I mean, OK, committing to somebody on a really deep level like that, like marriage or whatever, or just like monogamy or I don't know what system you're going to - what structure you're going to put upon it, it is a death of sorts, right? You're saying goodbye to, you know, other possibilities, even if they're fantasies into yourself as a more single autonomous person. And, you know, you're having to reckon with this new coupled - more intensely coupled version of yourself. So on some level, there's always the Death card, but then it's come up. It makes me feel like it's more significant. There's something for you to commit to, to Mario. There's something that needs to go, something that needs to die, something that needs to be locked off, said goodbye to, let go of.
And then you get - you get Princess of Wands and The Fool. OK, wow, this is wild. You guys, I'm going to - I'm going to share something here. This person who is writing who wrote in about this is the same person that wanted to know if she should have a baby, OK? They were both two very big questions. So I wanted to answer them both, but I wanted to split them up for the sake of the whole show. But I have to share this because to be with Mario, the questions that came up, I mean, the cards that came up are Princess of Wands and the Fool. Those are the same cards that came up for her deciding to not have a baby. So maybe the Death card is having to let go of... I don't know, maybe Mario doesn't want to have a baby. Maybe it's not - that's not the vibe between you guys. Maybe that's why you're letting go of it. There's lots of things I could project onto the Death card. I'll let you do that and — but it looks like to go with Mario, there's something that needs to be let go of and then it's really beautiful. Princess of Wands and The Fool. It's like just as I was saying, like go out and have a crazy fun life without being a mother. Do it with Mario. Right? Like, don't be parents. Don't be parents right now. Let go of that and have a blast.
Or conversely, there's also another really great path which is not being with Mario. But I got to say, I think being with Mario looks better. It really does. To - to say, no, I'm not going to do that. You get the Ace of Cups. So you're really - you're catalyzing a new emotional cycle for yourself, right? It's going to be the Mario-free cycle and it's beautiful. But it feels a little like... The next card is the Prince of Swords. And he's just like, can't really get off the ground, you know? I mean, maybe you just find that like being single and all that stuff or being away from Mario and being - trying to be open to other people or whatever. It's not what you thought it was going to be. It doesn't - it doesn't really give you wings the way that you thought that it would.
The next card. The last part is The Aeon and that's really intense card. That's the Judgment card. I think it has a much more positive spin in the Thoth deck. It's called The Aeon and it's beautiful and it's about a very huge new beginning, a new chapter of life that you might not feel set up for yet. It might feel like you're over your head or you don't know what you're doing, but you're guaranteed to rise to the occasion because that's your destiny. So sometimes when there's a destiny card, I say that's what you should do, even if it's rough. But with the major arcana cards of Death and The Fool, in the other reading about being with Mario, I kind of like that better. I mean, the Death card is rough, but it looks like whatever is let go of the result of that with the princess in The Fool are so positive. You know sometimes - sometimes we have to walk through the Death card and we have to let go of things so that other things can be born, right? And that's what it looks like.
So I say I'm seeing Mario or rather tarot. Tarot is team Mario. You guys, it's one minute past six o'clock. I've got Thai food takeout waiting for me downstairs. But I want to do one more quick little question from somebody in the audience. OK, let me see who we have here. Rachael Galperin, are you still with us?
Querent: Yes, I am.
Michelle Tea: Hello.
Querent: Hello.
Michelle Tea: Can I help you?
Querent: Hi. So, yeah, I wanted to ask about a relationship. In my like early/mid-thirties, I've never really been partnered. I had one partner a couple of years ago and that didn't last very long. I'm in a place where I have dated a lot, I've dated people for short periods of time, but I'm just in a space where I'm looking for something like... I'm looking -- I'm not looking to like meet the love of my life tomorrow. I don't even know if I subscribe to that idea, but I - I'm just in a place where I need - I would really like to have a partner. That's a very challenging thing for me to attain.
Michelle Tea: All right. That's - OK. So - so it's not quite a question. It's more like you've really laid the - you really laid the groundwork, like you've painted the picture. But, so you want to see like — can I ask you, like, what - are you - are there any particular things you're doing or you want to ask about like what if I go on the app? What if I hit on that person? What if like —because those - that is really - I can - that's really helpful or if there isn't, I can just pull cards to illuminate, like, what does your relationship sphere look like right now? Like what's up?
Querent: Well, yeah. So I am on the apps.
Michelle Tea: OK.
Querent: I mean, I guess I could ask when will I meet somebody on the apps? Because at this point I'm still not really socializing in large - in any groups, really, or many. So I guess the question would be will, will I meet somebody on the apps or like through social media in some way?
Michelle Tea: OK, so what does it look like for you to just sort of like charge those spaces a little bit with some intention and be like, all right, this is what I'm doing. This is like — I mean, not that you haven't, I mean, clearly, you know what you want and you're clear about that — but what does that - what does that look like as a path to finding somebody that you can have a strong and inspired connection with? What does that look like for you? So first, I'm going to pick three cards on that. I got a whole bunch of cards I'm going to pick for you. This is like the last firework in a fire when they just go crazy. OK, now I'm going to pick three cards because I do want to see what does your - what does - what does it look like in your romantic spirit right now? I want to see if there's any blockages or like any — I want to see with the tarot, what pictures the tarot uses to illuminate that part of your life. What's the vibe? So I'm gonna do three cards on that and then I'm going to go to my little friend who I haven't run out yet in the session, the Vessel Oracle Deck, which I love so much. It's not traditional tarot. It's its own world of symbols and meanings and I really like to use it for like when somebody is kind of stuck in a less than ideal situation. I mean, you know, I - I don't think you're going to be unpartnered for the rest of your life. People rarely are. But you are right now and that seems less than ideal for you. So I want to pick three cards from this deck to just give you some, like, what can help you? Especially if you've got blockages in your romantic quadrant. I want to see, like, what are some energies that are available to you to help you move through that? So I'm going to pick three cards here as well. All right.
All right. So the apps, everyone loves them. Everyone hates them. Oh, they look good for you. They look good for you, Rachel. You got Adjustment, OK? And then you got Lust and Happiness. I mean, like that... yeah, I think that you want to - you want to stick with it even when its quite dispiriting and you have to kiss so many frogs before you get your royalty of whatever gender you're looking for. So yeah. I mean Adjustment is saying to me initially that it might not be the most comfortable sphere for you, but you can do it. You can - you can get your groove with it. Also, I do want to say that like it is Libra. You know, it is a Libra card and Libra is - is - rules partnerships in marriage and romance. So I like that.
And then Lust. I mean, the Lust card doesn't always mean sexy time, but I kind of think it might for you, considering that we're talking about apps and romance and it's also lust for life. It's like you might meet a few people. I don't know, like I know we're - we're in weird times. So it's - it's a little hard to be super playing the field with the pandemic, but it looks like there's just a lot of richness there for you. There really is.
And then Happiness. It's like, you know, how - how black and white is that? Jupiter in Pisces. Pisces wants to be in love. Pisces loves love. Jupiter's like, I love you, Pisces here have all the love you want. So that looks really good.
Querent: And I'm a Pisces.
Michelle Tea: Oh, you are? Oh my gosh.
Querent: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: That's so nice. OK, listen, your romantic sphere actually... It looks good but you're worried and you know that already. But I'll just tell you what cards you got. You got the Nine of Disks. That is a Venus card which is the planet of love. It's Venus in Virgo and it's called Gain. OK, so it means that like things are coming to you, like your romantic spirit is getting more and more robust. I don't know if you're coming out of something that was hard or damaging or had to be — if you're coming out of a period where maybe you didn't want it so much or you got hurt. I don't know. But it looks like you're getting more. It's - it's very nice. And it's happening in a way I think that ... it's your standards, you know? I mean, Virgos have such standards whether - whether or not they're insane, I'm not going to comment on them, but they are known for their standards, right? So it's like - it's good for you to have standards and by having those standards, it's not going to make there be less people for you. You might be worried about that.
There's — the next card here is the Five of Disks that's called Worry. So and these are disks — disks are like the material world. So you're like, OK, my heart is open, I'm ready. But like, what about the world out there and all those crazy people? And what if people suck and what if this happens? Like, that's what I'm feeling from the Worry card in the context of a question that's about romance.
But then your final card is The Priestess, which is so powerful and it's like you are just — just like you're psychically pulling in the person or people that you're meant to commune with, right? It's happening, but that Worry card is significant. So I would - I would say, like, what are you worried about? What do you - what are your fears about connecting with people? What are your fears? Here's a real thing. Like if - if you have any fears about having standards or boundaries and having to uphold them in the face of another person, you know, like if you have any tendencies towards codependency that you want to break out of, right? Do a fears list about what those fears might be. This might be — I feel like your romantic's fear is revving up and getting stronger and more psychic and that might be causing a little anxiety, but it's ultimately really beautiful. It's going to be really good for you.
Oh, my gosh. I'm picking the three cards here for like, what - what are the helpful energies while you kind of wait - wait for your - wait for your, like, Mr./Mx. Right to come your way and the first card is fear, which is very akin to that Worry card. So, again, I think that there's some sort of fear, some sort of worry here that really needs to be addressed and looked at and accepted like, OK, I am worried about this, but like look at in the eye and know that it's accompanying you on this journey into romance and like, is it putting a banana peel under you that you're not aware of or, you know, are you guys seeing eye to eye?
And then the next card you have is Light. It's really beautiful. It's like all these stars shining and it's like staying positive. I mean, I feel like Light is very — the Light card in this deck is also very spiritual, like it's in - you got the Priestess. So it's like if you have a spiritual practice at all, if you have strong intuition, if you've got little psychic inklings, like feed those parts of yourself, amp up the self-care, treat yourself really well.
Your final card is Healing. So again, it's making me think that there's maybe - there's maybe — I mean, who doesn't have romantic scars among us? But it looks like whatever yours might be are a little bit alive in your sphere right now and they're asking for - they're asking to be seen. The fears that they're creating are asking to be looked at and then healing can happen. Does that makes sense?
Querent: Yeah. I mean, I'm a person with a number of chronic illnesses.
Michelle Tea: OK.
Querent: And so that's been one of my relationship issues regarding the boundaries, because I have to put up a lot more boundaries than other people. I don't have the energy to, like, go, go, go and I'm definitely attracted to... It's like a disease to like older women and - and some of them are really energetic and even though I'm like half their age, I can't really keep up because I'm a chronically ill person who has to work from home now. So that's one of the major issues.
Michelle Tea: OK, that resonates with those cards. You know, that there'd be a fear of like, you know, I want to have more, but like is more available to me? Like Gain and then the Worry card. But with that High Priestess on the other end of it, it's like, yeah, you know? It's really whoever... It's like you don't - you're not going to maybe be a match with like thirty-five people, but who cares? You only need that like one or two or I don't know? People who really get this and get you and vibe with you and that's what you're just holding out for is that. That person who really vibes with you and who like that's not a problem for.
Querent: OK.
Michelle Tea: Well, man we wish you all of the luck on your romantic journey. I'm not using the royal "we," I just know that everybody in the audience is like ... I feel I really feel like we're all rooting for each other here. So I'm just wishing you a lot of, like — get out there on that app. That Lust card and the Happiness, that looks really good. Once you're past the - the adjustment like weirdness of it, I think there's going to be something special for you there.
Querent: Thank you.
Michelle Tea: You're so welcome. Have a great night.
All right, you guys, it's 6:12 and my - my - my pad Thai is getting cold, but I do want to thank you all for being here, for trusting me with your problems. Please go to Spotify and check out my podcast, Your Magic. It's really great. I talk to different artists and actors and musicians about their spiritual practice, and I read their cards. This Monday that's coming up. I'm talking to Kathryn Hahn. Could you die? Oh, my God. I love her so much. So she's coming out on — and we're on Spotify — so that's dropping on Monday. On Wednesday, there'll be a recording of this that we just went through. This whole thing will be recorded. It'll be posted so you can listen again and again and share with your friends.
And I also want to tell you guys that if you are in the Los Angeles area or you're feeling like having a road trip, Your Magic is bringing back our live live, IRL, in-person show in Los Angeles on September 26th. It's a Sunday matinee, it's three o'clock in the afternoon. You've got to be vaccinated. If you're not, what's up you guys? Get vaccinated. Bring your vaccination card and you can come to this fantastic show where I'm going to be hanging out with Rachel True, who was one of the actresses in The Craft. I mean, she's done other wonderful things, but we just love her iconic, witch Rochelle in that movie. And she's also the creator of her own tarot deck. I have the writer, Grace Lavery, who is just a wild genius. We have the poet Morgan Parker, who's just this hugely critically acclaimed poet, who's really fantastic. Who else do we have here? Oh, we have this amazing cemetery tour guide. Her name is Carrie Bible. She just got an accolade from Los Angeles Magazine as being best tour in Los Angeles. She gives tours of the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, which is a very special place. And we also have, if you like, memes — and who doesn't in this day and age — Catpowerman 5000 or 5K — he's on Instagram — he's really great. He's going to be showing some mystical memes. It's going to be very fun. I'm also going to pick cards for audience members, just like I do here on Ask the Tarot. So go to dynastytypewriter.com. That's the theater and that's where you can buy your tickets. I'm pretty sure it's going to sell out. So - so go get them and come hang out with us.
And at the very least, I will not see you, I will hear you here next week at five o'clock Pacific, 8:00 Eastern on Spotify Greenroom. If you want to send me a one of a DM me a problem to pick cards for next week, please do. I got to tell you, I don't get through them all. An hour's not long enough, right? We got to have some sort of crazy 24-hour rock block where I completely exhaust myself reading tarot cards, but I'll do my best to get to everybody. OK, peace out. Have a good night.